Some would say the COVID-19 virus is just bad timing. Others have told me this is God’s way of trying to get our attention to be kinder to one another. To show more compassion. Maybe just to guide us back, and strengthen our faith.

Schools are closed. A number of jobs have been suspended or those more fortunate are able to work from home like myself. Grocery shopping has become more of an event than a casual excursion. Someone please tell me what is this obsession with toilet paper disappearing from store shelves? We protect ourselves with masks, latex gloves, hand sanitizer, and cleaning wipes. Like everyone else I have washed my hands constantly. And like everyone else have searched for entertainment on television and the web to fill the gaps of isolation. 

This has become our new normal. At least for now.

We participate in “social distancing” to protect not only ourselves from this deadly virus, but to protect those we love. By respecting one another’s space we curve the chances of unknowingly contracting or spreading this life threatening bacteria.

It got me to thinking. What if we could care about and respect each other the same way we are careful about spreading this virus. The Cincinnati Police Department’s crime analysis reporting shows that during the time period of 3/8/2020 to 4/4/2020 each district (except District 3 with 2) has reported only 1 homicide within this period. For all districts combined there have been 6 reported homicides.

Problem solving is a difficult task for some. One death is one too many. For those of us who are grieving the loss of a child or family member the prayer is that no one else has to negotiate this pain. Maybe this “forced time-out” can bring about a new understanding about the value of every life. Stranger things have happened, I believe that prayer changes a lot of things.

I’m sure by now everyone has seen that UCanSpeakForMe has cancelled our annual April Crime Victims Rights Week workshop this year because of health concerns of large gatherings and State instituted social distancing instructions.

I want everyone to know, we wanted to remain available to provide you whatever resource services we could during this trying time. In the end, we came to a realization, it just wasn’t a fair thing to do…to you or our staff & volunteers.

So, with a heavy heart, we have closed the main UCanSpeakForMe office until further notice. We are still in contact with local law enforcement and other partner agencies to help assist our client families as best as possible. We can still be reached at 513-404-3063. Or by email: ucanspeakforme@zoomtown.com. Be sure to visit our website for updated messages about services and events.

For those of you that have called and gotten my voicemail message I always end with saying “what we do for each other, we also do for God.” At this time this message takes on a much greater meaning for all of us.

Stay safe by doing the right thing. Stay home to protect one another. Stay healthy and hope to see you all soon.

Hope Dudley

Winter has arrived. Christmas is a few weeks away, and a new year is knocking at the door. This is the first time in months I can remember the office and the phones being this quiet.

Behind my desk is a large round table with UCanSpeakForMe posters and flyers. All are covered with the faces of young men and women murdered during the summer months and past years. In the conference room a long table is laid out with information packets for new families that have lost teenagers to gun violence. This is not an easy calling to service in my community.

It would be easy if the pictures could whisper and tell their families who stole their lives and why. I pray for the soul of my son everyday hoping for justice. From time to time in the back of my mind I try to convince myself that I would settle for closure to answer the “why” at this point.

Truly this is not an easy calling to service because I see up close the pain of new client families that request the services of UCanSpeakForMe. The lingering deep hurt is the same even though the faces change. I know their hurt. I hear the disbelief of the nightmare that seems never ending. As I take in the silence of the office a thought came to me. “Why do our youth choose to settle their differences with death as the final conclusion to a disagreement?”

2019 will be a year to remember from the headlines across the country and in Cincinnati, Ohio. Young African American teenagers for a variety of reasons are killing one another. June was a very deadly month in our city. There was a newspaper article published in the June 28, 2019 edition of the Cincinnati Enquirer by Cameron Knight. In that article Pastor Ennis Tait commented “A challenge we face is that this is the norm for some of them”. He went on to say “but the fact is, a friend has fallen and they don’t know how to deal with it. We think they do because of where they live, but they don’t.”  

He said outreach, from peers and families, is crucial not only to heal communities but also to prevent retaliation killings.

Looking at the faces on the cold case posters I have wondered about a lot of these same things. And the answer is no. I can’t make heads or tails of this way of settling differences. The article also said, “this is a real-life spirit that continues to plague our city. Vengeance is normal and retaliation is routine,” Pastor Tait remarked. "I believe in my heart that the only cure for vengeance and hate is love. We have to support these families... The only thing they have right now is the hurt and the pain. We have to give them something else.” In many ways this could be seen as a health issue not just another unsolved murder case for Detectives.

Murder is the second leading cause of death among American teenagers, after car accidents. According to a study by the National Center for Health Statistics’ Multiple Causes of Death Files from 1999 to 2017 Black children accounted for 41% of the gun-related deaths, with 86% of those among boys. Whether Black or White these are our children eliminating one another because of robbery, jealousy, or “you looked at me the wrong way”.

Vengeance may appear to be normal and retaliation should not be routine. This is a profound statement we all wish had no basis in truth. If there is any truth to this statement how many more young sons and daughters will end up on these posters and flyers? There seems to be only two ways to seek out a solution. One, work with the Public School Systems to present alternatives to children at an early age. Two, and this is the hardest, for families to close ranks around their children. Be the major influence in their lives so the information in the streets becomes neutralized.

What we do at UCanSpeakForMe is tough. We try to help client families that come to us when their grieving is fresh. It is an unproductive conversation when a mother is contemplating funeral arrangements for a child to ask her “didn’t you know how he(or she) was living their lives”. Even though the services UCanSpeakForMe offers are as a result of violent social behavior, it is not our mission to analyze what or why these events continue to persist. Law enforcement and prosecutors have the tougher jobs of determining right or wrong.

Still we all ask the question. Why? The horror and sadness that enters the lives of so many people, for the victim and perpetrator, if considered before pulling the trigger of a gun could be defined as a good argument for stopping the violence. What is not a debate it seems is that why violence becomes an alternative to kindness. Death has become the final statement for unreasonable anger in the communities where we live. 

There is no crystal ball to predict the future. Explanations may be found within our deeper beliefs for the sanctity of life, and setting a better example for our children might make a good start.

The WLWT-TV public affairs program ISSUES has received a first place award from the Ohio Society of Professional Journalists for a program featuring UCanSpeakForMe CEO Hope Dudley.

The program won for Best Minority Issues Coverage. The award will be presented on August 25th in Cincinnati to the television station.   The judges comments said: "A compelling portrait of a grieving mother who turned that grief into action and, more than 10 years after her son's unsolved murder, has created a community movement that seeks justice and heals for all.

We would like to extend our congratulations to one of our media partners for their continued support of our stop the violence message. The WLWT story can be viewed by going to our "What's New" page and clicking on the video called "The Tears You Don't See".

IN OTHER NEWS

UCanSpeakForMe has been contacted to extend it's family advocacy resources to the community of Trotwood, Ohio located in the Dayton area. A college student and a basketball player, Elmer Rucker was sitting in a car with his friend when they were both gunned down on April 18th.

"He was a good student. As far as I'm concerned, the perfect child. It's a big loss for me," Elmer Rucker Sr. said. 

While the afternoon vigil in Trotwood was a time to be with loved ones, it was also a call for help with his son's murder investigation.

"It's taking some time and taking too long for me. So I needed to do something. I'm asking the public's for help," said Rucker Sr.  He hopes keeping his son's name out in the public will help convince someone to come forward with information.

After the vigil, supporters like Hope Dudley, who also lost a son to gun violence, took to the streets to hand out flyers with Rucker's photograph.

"We want to keep his face out there so people would know that this young man was murdered in this location," Dudley said.

With 11 weeks since his Rucker's death and no suspects in custody, both Dudley and Rucker Sr. hope the public will speak up.  "Somebody knows something and it can help," he said. 

25-year-old Antonio Collins was also gunned down in the car with Rucker.  

The WDTN-TV story can be viewed at https://www.wdtn.com/news/local-news/father-pleads-for-public-s-help-in-son-s-trotwood-shooting-death/1274637104 

UCanSpeakForMe continues to  receive requests from families throughout the southern counties of Ohio for assistance and resource information.

Hope Dudley has worked tirelessly to bring attention to unsolved homicides since her son Daniel "Chaz" Dudley was killed in  a drive-by shooting in 2007 in Cincinnati. After his death, she started making bookmarks, flyers, posters, and playing cards featuring unsolved homicide cases in the hope that, by putting a face on the violence, she would encourage those with information to come forward. She distributed her creations throughout the community in churches, libraries, businesses, and prisons. Impressed with her actions, law enforcement officials unveiled a statewide pilot project in 2008 using posters based on Dudley's works.

To further her cause, Dudley started UCanSpeakForMe Inc. in 2009. the nonprofit assistance program is designed to educate victims and their families about the criminal justice system, promote an anti-violence message, and encourage cooperation between victims and the court system. the organization holds monthly support meetings for grieving families and participates in community outreach activities. For the past several years, the group has sponsored a one-day public summit during National Crime Victims' Rights Week, featuring speakers from the criminal justice system. The event unites first responders, judge, prosecutors, and victim advocates.

As part of a recent video project, Dudley worked with the victims' families to assemble a collection of interviews and images to tell stories of the grieving process. Her own testimony, The Tears You Don't See, was featured on a local TV community-affairs program. For her efforts, she was honored with an award from Crime Stoppers.

Dudley exemplifies strength, resiliency, and perservance. She has converted her grief into giving in order to help other victims of crime.

You can watch the Attorney General's awards ceremony at:  https://youtu.be/LU4p4gkZiTM Congratulations Ms. Dudley for your unselfish service to grieving families  from a homicide across the State of Ohio.